Published in Sounds, 1st May 1982
THE EXPLOITED: ‘Alternatives’ (Secret) I’m not sure what Wattie’s game is with all the porkies he’s telling Crass, but there’s no two ways about this long overdue new single. ‘Alternatives’ is classic Exploited, compelled by the rhythm of leaping chargers and viciously exploding against the senseless waste of youth unemployment and impending National Service.
An unyielding pace and a juggernaut guitar sound complement the suitably rabid verses and a catchy chorus out of your wildest dreams: ALTERNATIVES – I don’t want to join the army/ALTERNATIVES — I know it’s a waste of time’ yells “gentle as a kitten” Wattie.
It’s glorious kamikaze stuff. Double A-side sibling ‘Attack’ is less instant, the first known example of heavy metal Exploited with fine Pistolian choruses. Trouble is I reckon it could have been produced a whole lot better and I’m not over keen on the verse’s chugging guitar part either. More bollocks is what’s needed here, ma babes, and more flow . . .
Still, to paraphrase those friendly skinhead Weetabix chaps, this ain’t one for airy-fairy punks. This is music with a bitta bite. So if you know what’s good for you . . .
Total Chaos | Punk 45s Reviewed by Garry Bushell
INFA-RIOT: ‘The Winner’ (Secret) Having your singer produce your records is not always the wisest of moves. As in this case, and more often than not, you end up with nice loud vocals and a relatively piddling guitar sound.
This number, strangely built on a riff that apes the ‘Ghostriders In The Sky’, melody, is good solid stuff but arguably the band’s weakest release to date.
It’s fast and catchy with ranting Mensi-impersonating verses and a muscley addictiVe chorus, but it lacks the explosive dynamism of ‘Each Dawn I Die’ and the clarion call clout of ‘Riot Riot’. Much better live I’d say, and seeing as this is yet another feeble two-tracks-only offering and the other track is punk ordinaire, that’s where I’d catch it.
SUBHUMANS: ‘Reason For Existence’ (Spiderleg) Oddly, this knocks the Infas into a cocked titfer. “Allo” intones Brooce as drums pound manically and the guitar powers in (a bit more bite in the mix next time please Pete) for a spirited jot before slowing down to a Sabbath-style funeral pace as the first words are delivered with sneering cynicism.
Introductions over, the chaps accelerate into a compulsive Crass-style diatribe. Don’t work and don’t vote is the utopian message. Much as I like the record I ain’t giving up my beer money for nobody.
BLITZKRIEG: ‘Lest We Forget’ (No Future) A promising bass-line beginning and the furious anti-fascist lyrics sit ill at ease with the song itself which for all its would-be rabid protest is so shambolic it sounds like it’s held together with used Sellotape and liable to collapse like a punctured dunkie at any given moment.
It’s okay, but nowhere near as hot as ‘The Future Must Be Ours’.
Total Chaos | Punk 45s Reviewed by Garry Bushell
THE TOY DOLLS: ‘Everybody Jitterbug’ (EMI) An odd shot at kiddy TV status from these sterling Sunderland silly billies which comes across as a sort of manic mix of Jackanory, the Whistling Postman and a public bar singsong.
There’s lotsa noise and handclaps and a whacking big chorus, but the toytown verses place it firmly in Tony Blackburn territory. Much better is boisterous b-side ‘She’s A Worky Ticket‘, superb sulphate r’n’b with a hefty chorus and their finest moment to date.
TOTAL CHAOS: ‘No Russians In Afghanistan’ (Volume) Yeah, and no Argentinians on the Falklands. A great big “worra let-down” greets these gormless Geordie boys with a good name for a punk singles column. A nice bouncy beat is sabotaged by a lame guitar sound and dubious lyrics. Wait till the ‘Total Noise EP’ comes out in a month’s time — that’s real power!
ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT: ‘Future Girl’ (Glass) After a promising debut with ‘1980’ the band have called in a ‘name’ producer — and cocked everything up.
Listen, on this evidence Monsieur Rat Scabies couldn’t produce a pound note in a charity drive. If you ask me he’s used the whole show as a chance to try out his two-fingered organ work which takes up about half the song in an elongated ‘gentle’ intro.
Needless to say this has absolutely nothing to do with the second half of the number which aims at being demented but is reduced by chronic mix to a poppy mess with the guitar taking off George Formby’s ukelele. Worra waste. Now go away and don’t come back till you get it RIGHT! RIGHT?
Total Chaos | Punk 45s Reviewed by Garry Bushell
THE MOB: ‘No Doves Fly Here’ (Crass) A cynic might argue that the reason Crass put out so much RUBBISH is to make their own records sound better. This feeble, somnabulant pile of cack starts with a ‘meaningful’ melancholy bass line that builds into a painfully slow pomp plod blessed with vocals akin to the death throes of a wounded hyena and guitar that might as well not be there for all you can hear of it.
‘I hear you laughing’ agonises friend hyena as Mephistopheles draws near. He’s not a bad judge.
VICE SQUAD: ‘Stand Strong, Stand Proud’ (EMI) Just thought I’d add my voice to Steve Keaton’s raving review in last week’s Singles. If this ain’t Top Thirty EMI are fouling up in a big way.
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