Monocled Alchemist

Article published in Record Mirror, 5th April, 1980

Angelic Upstart Mensi says he’s a fighter – Mike Nicholls says he’s a writer

The Angelc Upstarts | Mensi Unleashed | SO THERE’S three of us in this Soho restaurant. Mensi, ne Thomas Mensforth, photographer Tom Sheehan and myself, all jawing about various people and aspects of the industry that keeps us solvent.

Suddenly, a foppish looking character from an adjacent table who has patiently spent the last 20 minutes eavesdropping comes over and opines in rather colourful language that he doesn’t agree with what we’re saying.

Replying that he’s ignorant in more ways than one, Mensi then embarks on a more dramatic course of action: “Don’t talk to any guest of mine like that,” he barks, dragging him across the table by the fringes of his wet-look tie, “orhl’ll crack your skull in ‘arf!”

A portly Indian waiter dashes over and pleads for peace inside his emporium. “Alright, then, I’ll take the c— outside.” roars Mensforth, jolting the intruder’s face over the noxious fumes of a cauliflower bhajee.

A second waiter waddles across and between them they escort the stranger from the premises, his skull still intact but any grey matter within somewhat slightly shaken.”

Meanwhile Thomas recovers his cool and grins reassuringly at his guests. Mr Hyde is Dr Jekyll once again. This is the first visual hint that there’s more to Mensi than mouth.

Earlier, over too many bottles of wine at his record company HQ he had been telling us tales about his chequered past. How, for example, a friend of his went down for two-and-a-half years for trying to shoot someone with a sawn-off shotgun.

The Angelic Upstarts | Mensi Unleashed

Whaaaaat??!! “Yea, ‘e tried to get ‘im, like, but ‘e shot the wrong one. Got somebody else in the gang by mistake,” he explains with a nervous laugh.

It transpires that a former Upstarts contact is something of a hood. Or was until he, too, found himself on Her Majesty’s guest list at Durham’s maximum security jail.

Tell me, Mensi, would I be right in assuming that there was a bit of a feud going on?

“Well the police called it gang warfare.” he answered earnestly. The guy lived in a fantasy world,” Mensi recalls. “It was all the comics he used to read. One minute ‘e’d be Captain Hurricane, the next a Kray twin. But ‘e’s not as tough as he thinks an’ e’s got a reputation as an informer.

In fact, he’s already ‘ad a few beatings since going inside ‘cos there’s one guy in there doing seven years because of him. They reckon he’s willing to do another seven for the pleasure of killing ‘im.”

Soon after Mensi moved to London he got a phone call from the Newcastle Regional Crime Squad at four o’clock in the morning.

“That guy ‘ad told them I was the driver the night they tried to do him and they were checking up where I was.

“The police were looking for my friend but the only person in the house was my kid brother. So the law came along with guns, bullet-proof vests and he just said ‘he’s not here’ and shut the door on ’em. Anyhow, they bust the door down, turned the house over looking for the gun and then arrested our kid on suspicion.

The Angelic Upstarts | Mensi Unleashed

“It’s alright to laugh now, but it gave me mam a nervous breakdown.”

Not surprisingly. Mensi reckons he’s had enough of violence.

“I don’t wanna fight any more,” he asserts, “an ah’m just praying that when we tour in April there’ll be none of the trouble we ‘ad last time. But as Mensi himself admits, trouble follows him round “like a bad smell” and only recently a nasty little incident occurred which led to the sacking of bass player Steve Taylor.

Thomas had just completed his historic TV appearance with Cliff Richard in Birmingham and arrived back to find his north London den in a state of disarray.

“The first thing I saw was Steve’s bird lying crashed out on the kitchen floor with the tool-box on top of her. Next thing she was moaning ‘do it, do it’ and I thought, ‘fair enough, she wants Steve to give ‘er one.’

“Then Sticks, our drummer, comes in and says he’s got something to show me, Not only ‘ad they emptied two bottles of booze, but also spewed up all over the lounge.”

So what did you do next. Batman?

“What did I do? I tell you what I bloody did. I dragged him out of the house, beat ‘im up and left ‘im there writhing on the pavement. Then she says ‘It were me’, so I bashed ‘er up as well.”

Fine. “Tell yer what, Mike, some interview this, innit?” he ejaculates, beaming with pride, “They’re gonna make you Writer of the Year, like. Anyway, how about some more questions? I’m doing all the work, like.”

Er’ what do you think of the budget?

The Angelic Upstarts | Mensi Unleashed

“Well, they always put everything up, don’t they? Actually, ah’ve always been a Labour man myself. but you’ve got to admire Maggie’s stand against the Russians, ‘aven’t you? That’s the biggest threat to this country — Communism.

“When I first moved down here everyone thought I was a red, but I hate it as much as fascism which it’s supposed to be the opposite of. I’ll tell yer what, Mike, I’ll give you a little exclusive.

Remember that Rock Against Communism gig? If it hadn’t been for the NF organising it, I’d have played it. I done anti-Nazi gigs so why not? There’s lots of things I’d like to do such as an anti-IRA gig. I mean, how can you have any sympathy with their cause when they’re punishing the working class here by blowing up tube stations.”

Although seemingly extreme, one can hardly fault the logic of these remarks. Similarly, his skin-head haircut and manic expression betray a reasonable, nay, intelligent ability to argue when talking about matters closer to home.

Like when Joe Strummer slagged him off in Record Mirror. “Fucking ridiculous, wasn’t it? There’s all this rubbish like The Dooleys clogging up the charts an’ he chooses to get at up an’ coming bands like ours. What about those lines of his (in ‘Complete Control’) I don’t judge you so why do you judge me’? Now he’s just lickin’ arses like everyone else.”

Mensi evidently feels let down by The Clash.

“They say they’ve seen it all before, but what ‘ave they bloody seen? ‘ave they seen three men die the first week they want to work in a pit? Or a mate lose ‘is arm on a chainsaw? I don’t wanna go on about havin’ worked in the mines, but it makes you think, doesn’t it?”

A reminder of his pre-Upstart days is immortalised in ‘King Coal’ on the new album. Eager to talk about his latest opus, Mensi gives me a track-by-track breakdown on ‘We Gotta Get Out Of This Place’.

From some of the songs it would appear that his favourite theme is police corruption.

“How can they expect support and the public to ‘ave a go when they’re bent themselves? I’m branded as a criminal but some of them are no better than me.”

The Angelic Upstarts | Mensi Unleashed

Now why ever should a gentleman like yourself be considered a criminal?

“I’ve got a record as long as your arm.”

You surprise me. What form have you got?

“Well’, it all started in ’73 when I was up for 47 cases of taking without consent. (This means he nicked almost 50 cars before getting copped). Three years later it was GBH for doing a Persian student.”

Charming.

“Well ‘e pulled a knife on me so I smashed ‘im to fuck.”

Nice one.

“Anyway, that was the most serious offence. Since then it’s only been minor things like spittin’ on a copper and criminal damage. Still, it’s enough to keep us out of the States. Still, what does that matter when you’re big in Japan?”

Come again?

“Didn’t you know? One of the Nip papers has adopted us as the last pure punk band. But I reckon it’s down to my natural charisma.”

Sauna session

Not to mention stunning good looks.

“Too right. You know. Mike, as I get older I just get better looking all the time. I tell you, I’ve got more than my fair share of beautiful girlfriends, though the best ones are all up north, like.”

Mensi went on to reveal that he maintains his Mr Universe good looks by regular work-outs in the WEA gym and the odd sauna session, also courtesy of the company.

“An’ I tell you what else.” he continues, warming to the subject of how he enjoys taking the whole world and its record company for a ride. “I reckon I’ve got the biggest collection of Warners albums in the world. They’ve got this video I’ve got my eye on, an’ all.”

Hopefully, he won’t be using it to show films of himself. It would be a shame to break such an expensive piece of equipment.